Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Why is it so damn difficult?!

Why is it so damn difficult? It's been a month now and I can't seem to shake my feelings off! I can't seem to let go, I keep looking back, I keep thinking about, I keep missing her...

I have tried, I really did. I mean I have gone away for a while and I did have a good time. Funny thing is that I still can't stop thinking about her. I have tried so hard and yet failure seems to keep creeping back unto me over and over again.

Each time I see her on facebook updates, my heart will go all sour and hurtful. It feels so fucking fucked up that I can't seem to shake her off my mind.

Maybe I should try leaving for good. Maybe I should just pack my bags and drift away, taking where ever the wind may blow me. It be a lie if I have not thought about it. In fact I am actually planning on doing so. But where to go? Will it be a wise decision? Who will I hurt? Who will I forsaken by my selfish acts? Will I be considered a coward for wanting to run away from my problems? I'm known for being a person who face whatever there's up against me but this issue, I can't seem to shake it off! Oh I so fucking hate myself for being like this!

I know a fact certain that things will never be like before again. I will never be able to get back this happiness again. I need to move on. I know it's not going to be easy but I never thought that it's going to be so fucking hard!

Do I feel angry? Hell yea I'm pissed! At myself mostly for being such a pussy! But to her? I've nothing but sadness and remorse. Why is it so hard loving someone? God fucking dammit!

OK Enough bitchin'

1 comment:

The Language Institute said...

Wow...spectacular!! Life under water.
Wish I could dive in there...deep...down...

Keep up the good work!!

Didi
www.tlibdg.com