Friday, September 14, 2007

Don't Blame Others If You Don't Tell

Today's topic: Don't blame others for not understanding your situation if you intend to keep it hidden.

Many a times people tend to hide things from others, be it their loved ones, their friends or even from their family. But throughout the person's struggle, they tend to blame others for not understanding them. Blaming others for not being able to empathize them for their struggle throughout their issues.

This is a common practise that people tend to do on daily basis. I don't deny that I do it from time to time. Well, normally it's because we may think it's noble to hide things away from others and suffer alone. I would personally think it's for the better coz why would I wanna share others with my burden when they themselves have their own fair share of troubles. This is only solely speaking about sharing your burdens with friends.

But for people who are in a relationship or even married, Doing so is not going to be healthy for the relationship. It actually tense up the bond between 2 people. When one couple decides to hide things away from their partner, It would definitely make the other partner thinks that he/she is not trusted. When people feels their not being trusted, what would they do? They would get frustruated. Arguments would break loose and a whole lot of episodes of dramas after that.

If 1 person choose to keep the other in the dark, The person is entitled for their own persumptions. I mean of course you gotta try asking what is wrong and so on; but for how long? How long could you probe wanting to understand your partner? Honestly, there is a limit. After asking or seeking for answers for a certain time limit, that person would jusr give in to their own thoughts and own persumptions. And start accusing and maybe even start arguing from time to time.

I am one of them. I have been kept in the dark on certain issues for a long time now. All I want is an answer and of course some others that follows behind but it is just something what everyone would want. I mean if you care for someone, you would obviously want to know every single detail about that someone. Be it cliches or even serious matters that may be bothering the person you care. It's just nature. Well that being of course I'm a curious bug as well :P

Yea yea there's always a saying to contradict every statement such as, "Curiousity kills the cat" or "Don't ask when you're not ready to know" Bla Bla Bla..... But hey we're human and it's within our nature to be curious. What more about your loved ones. Right? Why would I want to bother about you if you don't mean a lot to me? Don't everyone have their own hands full with their own problems or troubles? But yet we took time off from our troubles to care for our loved ones. I would do so for my loved ones and of course I would expect nothing less than this from them as well when my time comes where I need comfort as well.

Sigh, it's just something I thought I want to rent about but yea deep inside me is spinning like crazy. There's so many things I want to know about something but somehow it's been 7 months and I still can't get an answer out of it. Cheers guys. Hope this thought would bring some of you to think about understanding your own relationship partner(s). hehehe


jasonphoon said...

aww man , you said it. the secret would eat you all up inside ... urghh

Calv said...

indeed it does doesn't it. but look at it at another perspective. we may suffer a lot as the one guessing for answer but in a way it helps us to understand human nature a little more deeper than usual. :)

nite said...

something happen today?

Calv said...

no la. just a thought that i thought maybe it'll be nice to share with others ma...

Anonymous said...

seriously, not everything must be shared right? i mean what's life without a little mystery? If i already know everything, then nothing is interesting left.

Come on la, if someone say, has some kind of UTI or enlarged prostrate problem, still have to share with their partners? Share with doctor better la. Haha.

Of course if you love someone, you wish to know everything about her/him but you can't and that's human nature also. Truth is truth and with holding some truth is not a lie, it's strength of a person. Whether that person choose to share or not, it's his/her freedom. Why else claim Merdeka if you can't be free with the one you love or care about? Should all relationships be so constricting?

Calv said...

hey there. yes u do have a point there. thing is sometimes it's really sickening to not know anything about ur partner. especially things that involves u as well. i mean c'mon sometimes ur partner would make decisions that involves ur well being without telling u.

i mean that is like a real slap across the face when soon u find it out from someone else.

yes i believe relationships would be constricting if everything also u need to know but of course what i meant is that there's some things that u NEED to know instead of WANTING to know.

anyways love ur feedback. thanks though

Calvin's Wife said...

SHIT~!! u come back liao to blogging n u never tell me, i missed out so many posts!!! Damn you Calv, by the way how r u doing? where have u been??!!

ive never seen u online for a long time liao.. u okay?

by the way happy lantern day to you my friend ;)

Calv said...

haha sorry lo
i lost all my contact numbers ady, please do send me again ur number, a sms would do, my phone kena format :(

anwyays happy lanttern festival to u too

lin said...

I agree with many points. But in some areas, I feel we need to be more aggressive. Just my opinion. Love ya. Off the Shoulder Wedding Dresses. Bar Phone Louboutin Shoes Christian Louboutin Pumps Lace Wedding Dresses